Hit an all time low with my horse :(

[Trouper]

There are lots of things you can do to enrich her "retirement" life (and I, too, am very glad you have decided to retire her). You can learn some basic massage techniques, do lots of carrot stretches and just do some gentle in hand walking with her. She might even enjoy the odd outing if you are walking with her but only you can tell if she is feeling nervous again when you try this. What I am saying is that your time with her doesn't need to be focused on riding so please ignore the idiots at your yard who clearly do not understand the situation you are in and whose opinions are of no value.
This is her time to enjoy her life and for you to share that with her so don't look on it as a failure or and ending - it is just something different.
And do think about having a look at the charities who have lots of potential "new" ponies for you as well as buying. A double good deed if you can give such a caring home to a horse in need!!

 

[Northern]

Is it normal to feel this heartbroken?

I keep seeing her saddle pads at home and just breaking down in tears. Finding myself debating if there was more I could do, more investigations and treatment etc but I know it's probably all pointless now.

I just feel lost.

Completely normal to feel this way, it's the end of an era. I went through it with my own mare (though sadly I lost her before she could live out her retirement with me) and no doubt many others here have too. There are plenty of low pressure ground work exercises you can do with her, I often just take mine out in hand for walks with grazing breaks. It's peaceful and you may find she relaxes completely and becomes visibly happier without the pressure of carrying a person. As for the people on your yard, try and ignore them (easier said than done). I don't waste my breath and time on people like that.

I can only go by what you've posted on here, but you have made the right decision for her and yourself. Best of luck looking for your new one, but remember to take your time to find something you'll really have fun on

 

[Ellietotz]

Completely normal to feel this way, it's the end of an era. I went through it with my own mare (though sadly I lost her before she could live out her retirement with me) and no doubt many others here have too. There are plenty of low pressure ground work exercises you can do with her, I often just take mine out in hand for walks with grazing breaks. It's peaceful and you may find she relaxes completely and becomes visibly happier without the pressure of carrying a person. As for the people on your yard, try and ignore them (easier said than done). I don't waste my breath and time on people like that.

I can only go by what you've posted on here, but you have made the right decision for her and yourself. Best of luck looking for your new one, but remember to take your time to find something you'll really have fun on

I am sorry to hear about that.

She loves following me like a dog so she would enjoy walking up the track for a little bit of grass, she's relaxed providing she has a human to follow!

Thank you.

 

[Tarragon]

I have just caught up on this thread. It does sound as though retirement is the way to go.
I just wanted to add that I have had a pony from 3 years old, who is now 16 years old, who recently came up unexplainably lame. I had felt that something was wrong for a few weeks, for a pony of his fitness and spot on weight, he wasn't as forward as you would expect. I had investigated his feed, had had his blood tested and then brought the vet in and he said he was slightly lame in his near hind. A long story, but we still don't have an explanation for it, despite x-rays, so he is being turned away as a companion pony for at least the rest of the year, and I am on the look out for another.
The reason for mentioning this, is that I feel that a weight has been lifted off me and I am now really excited about getting the next one. I think that perhaps there has been something underlying in this pony that I have worked around all these years, but as I don't compete or have high aspirations, I have gradually and subconsciously reduced what we do to fit in with what he is capable of. Now I feel released from what I saw as my obligations in an honourable way.
I think you have tried your best to work with your mare, and I hope that now you have come to the decision to retire her, a whole new future awaits

 

[Smogul]

Yeah she definitely wouldn't bog off with me.
I chat to her the whole time, tell her about my week and reiterate that she is safe.

At one clinic I attended, instructor told someone that by constantly reassuring their horse, all they were doing was telling the horse that the world was a dangerous place. Maybe you "over"-reassure her?

Edited to say I have now read whole thread and see it is more complicated.

 

[Annagain]

I retired Archie a year ago. It was slightly different as he was obviously lame and he was 24 at the time but I'd kept him in work for 12 years after his initial lameness and coffin joint arthritis diagnosis. I knew it was degenerative and I knew that time would come but it still didn't stop me trying to make him better before calling it a day.

He had been perfectly sound for many years after his diagnosis then in summer 2019 was slightly lame. He had the joint injected and was great again. Then lockdown hit and we stopped riding and when we started again, he just wasn't sound. We tried a course of bute, and injected the joint again but it had no effect so I decided to call it a day. It was about a month between trying to start again and retiring him and that month was exhausting - the emotional rollercoaster of him being sound one day but lame the next, of never knowing what I'd find and the guilt of starting out with a sound horse only for him to be lame within 5 minutes and knowing I was contributing to it. I could have tried with more treatment but I knew all it would do was buy a bit more time rather than solve anything.

Once I made the decision it was like the clouds lifted from over me. It was such a relief. I was sad, but I knew it was the right decision. A year on, he's happy as larry in the field. He's a bit pottery on concrete coming out of his stable when he's in overnight in winter but once he's on the grass he's fine and by the time he comes in in the evening, he's sound on the concrete too. He has danilion for a few days after a trim. Far from it spoiling our relationship, he and I have an even more special bond now. He was always a really cwtchy horse when you weren't doing something to him he didn't like and now that I'm not bathing him, pulling his mane, trimming his legs and brushing him every day he's ten times more affectionate.

Edited as I see you've made the decision - You were clearly unhappy, your mare was clearly unhappy. I imagine you felt quite a lot like I did in that month but with the added fear that she might drop you. What you had towards the end was no fun for anyone involved. I know it's really hard but I'm pleased you've decided to retire her for your sake as well as hers. You will be sad but you can still have a lovely relationship with her.

 

[tristar]

Yes, I've been told a car ran over her hind pasterns, she flipped out in a trailer as a yearling and got stuck over the breast bar and she panicked when driving once pulling a cart downhill for the first time, ended up through a fence.

short of spending a million quid on every test known to man, you may never know the source of the problem, i have only had two horses with wb and both seemed to me to be nervous wrecks, one a potential stallion and a mare, the stallion despite his ways made a top class showjumper with an prof rider, but as a yearling i decided to sell and sold as a three yr old,, neither were my cup of tea,

what i`m trying to say is sometimes if its there when they are young, if its part of them and like yours they have known injuries and possibly age related degeneration conditions you are dealing with a lot of problems all at once, some unsolvable,

a very hard place to be, hope you can make a decision how go into the future, and let go of something that is not working how you would like, and progress to having some ridden fun

 

[paddy555]

Is it normal to feel this heartbroken?

I keep seeing her saddle pads at home and just breaking down in tears. Finding myself debating if there was more I could do, more investigations and treatment etc but I know it's probably all pointless now.

I just feel lost.

of course it's normal to feel heart broken for what you have lost but you are not giving up on her. You are still going to feed her, groom her, put her rug on, take her for walks, give her treats, talk to her. You've tried so hard for a long time it is a great void and comedown when that has ended. You need time to adjust and reconcile yourself to the new situation. You did your best but some things just cannot be fixed and have to be accepted. She is still there for you.

So when you have got over the shock and feeling upset what else can you do with her? Could you teach her tricks? interesting things she could do. Lots and lots you can do without getting on her back.

In a couple of months you may feel more settled. Maybe an old pony will wander along, who knows, you will get on it's back, feel totally confident and see a way forward. Maybe something else will happen. Again who knows.

 

[Wheels]

Really sorry to hear this and yes it is grief without a doubt.

I hope the retirement goes well for her, I'm sure she will still love a good groom and a walk out for some hand grazing etc they do still enjoy interaction

 

[Lucky788]

This must be so hard but how lucky is your horse to have an owner who loves her so much & has invested so much in addressing her issues!

Give yourself time and enjoy doing bits with her on the ground

 

[Kat]

If people on your yard aren't supportive of your decision why not look for a nice retirement livery instead where there will be no pressure to ride and everyone will be in the same boat.

 

[Ellietotz]

I had a well known Bowen lady out to see my mare as she needed physio anyway.

She believes that all of this, the way of going etc, is down to her gut microbiome being imbalanced...
She said I need to get her off Copra, Linseed and Speedibeet as it is all chemically made rubbish, put her on Thunderbrooks Hay Cobs for the different ranges of grass and herbs, Graze On grass nuts don't count, and feed OceanFeed Equine, i.e. seaweed to repopulate the gut. I'm sceptical and feel that the vets would have said this if it was the issue!

Nice lady though, very patient with her squealing and kicking and she was noticeably softer afterwards.

 

[AmyMay]

Yeah, yeah, because she’s obviously a vet, with x-ray vision ???

 

[Ellietotz]

Yeah, yeah, because she’s obviously a vet, with x-ray vision ???

Obviously ?

 

[IrishMilo]

Yes, I added that the peer pressure is from people on the yard that make me feel stupid if I do retire her.

People like this are almost always ignorant to their own horse's poor health, and want others to keep going to make themselves feel better because they don't have the courage to do the hard (but right) thing...

 

[Tiddlypom]

The bowen lady sounds to be barking, tbh, but an imbalanced gut biome can really be a thing.

There is a company which will analyse your horse's gut biome and then suggest any tweaks to the diet which can help restore a healthier gut flora. One of mine is having her poo analysed now on a vet's suggestion, but it takes 8 - 10 weeks for the results to come back. Vet has known of some significant improvements after changes to the diet after this.

https://www.equibiome.org/

Bowen lady's blanket diet change suggestions are just fluff, though.

 

[meleeka]

I retired my boy for a similar reason. I wasn’t prepared to spend thousands on a hunch, as he was fine and happy in the field. it was clear he wasn’t enjoying it and my confidence was low because of that. Some friends still think I should crack on and that I’m just too lazy to work through it, but I can honestly say, he’s never been happier.

 

[Red-1]

I had a well known Bowen lady out to see my mare as she needed physio anyway.

She believes that all of this, the way of going etc, is down to her gut microbiome being imbalanced...
She said I need to get her off Copra, Linseed and Speedibeet as it is all chemically made rubbish, put her on Thunderbrooks Hay Cobs for the different ranges of grass and herbs, Graze On grass nuts don't count, and feed OceanFeed Equine, i.e. seaweed to repopulate the gut. I'm sceptical and feel that the vets would have said this if it was the issue!

Nice lady though, very patient with her squealing and kicking and she was noticeably softer afterwards.

Well, no one knows everything, and changing her diet won't hurt. It would be grand if it made a difference, but if it were me, although I may change the diet, I would continue with the plan to retire until proven otherwise.

 

[Pearlsasinger]

I had a well known Bowen lady out to see my mare as she needed physio anyway.

She believes that all of this, the way of going etc, is down to her gut microbiome being imbalanced...
She said I need to get her off Copra, Linseed and Speedibeet as it is all chemically made rubbish, put her on Thunderbrooks Hay Cobs for the different ranges of grass and herbs, Graze On grass nuts don't count, and feed OceanFeed Equine, i.e. seaweed to repopulate the gut. I'm sceptical and feel that the vets would have said this if it was the issue!

Nice lady though, very patient with her squealing and kicking and she was noticeably softer afterwards.

Whilst I'm not quite sure why she thinks those feeds are chemical rubbish, I do know that your vet won't have a clue about equine reactions to food. There are loads of people on here who can ell you about horses reacting badly to feed that other horses eat very happily, I had a TBx mare who couldn't tolerate any cereals or refined sugar in even the smallest amounts. and several others who haven't been able to tolerate the things that she could - alfalfa being the most notable! Various vets had seen her several times and prescribed all sorts for her but never suggested changing her diet..
I think I did suggest cutting your horse's diet back to nothing but grass and hay months ago. Is there any real reason why you shouldn't do that as a last ditch attempt to avoid retiring her just yet?

ETA, without riding her until you are sure that the diet has made a difference.

 

[Ellietotz]

The bowen lady sounds to be barking, tbh, but an imbalanced gut biome can really be a thing.

There is a company which will analyse your horse's gut biome and then suggest any tweaks to the diet which can help restore a healthier gut flora. One of mine is having her poo analysed now on a vet's suggestion, but it takes 8 - 10 weeks for the results to come back. Vet has known of some significant improvements after changes to the diet after this.

Bowen lady's blanket diet change suggestions are just fluff, though.

I have thought about doing the Equibiome test just to see if she might be right in that sense but I figured it would be cheaper to try a good pre and probiotic supplement. In fact, I've just seen they sell them on their website.

 

[Tiddlypom]

I've put my mare on the EquiBiome Prebiotic product while waiting for her full biome analysis to come back, and she has definitely improved .

She's also on Succeed supplement. She has hind gut acidosis as diagnosed in a process of elimination by my vet.

 

[Ellietotz]

Well, no one knows everything, and changing her diet won't hurt. It would be grand if it made a difference, but if it were me, although I may change the diet, I would continue with the plan to retire until proven otherwise.

Yes, completely agree.

I mean, it does make sense in some ways, when she spook spins, it is ALWAYS to the left no matter where the scary object is and I understand that the cecum is on the right hand side so right hind lameness can be caused by hind gut issues. She has been on and off with right hind lameness for a while but only 1/10th. When backing up, she naturally bends to the left as well rather than going in a straight line, when she naps and spins to the left, I can only circle her to the left to get back round, if I try to pull her back right, she will back up or rear. So all of that would still be a sign of an internal issue like this but she has been on Coopers Gut Support for months in the past, Science Supplements Gut Support before and the vets probiotics recently so I'd have thought all of this would have helped. She also does eat one of the other mare's poos too but after all the gut supplements, nothing really seemed to improve this.

 

[Ellietotz]

Whilst I'm not quite sure why she thinks those feeds are chemical rubbish, I do know that your vet won't have a clue about equine reactions to food. There are loads of people on here who can ell you about horses reacting badly to feed that other horses eat very happily, I had a TBx mare who couldn't tolerate any cereals or refined sugar in even the smallest amounts. and several others who haven't been able to tolerate the things that she could - alfalfa being the most notable! Various vets had seen her several times and prescribed all sorts for her but never suggested changing her diet..
I think I did suggest cutting your horse's diet back to nothing but grass and hay months ago. Is there any real reason why you shouldn't do that as a last ditch attempt to avoid retiring her just yet?

ETA, without riding her until you are sure that the diet has made a difference.

I did cut her back to just grass nuts to get the salt and vitamin e in at the time when it was suggested though I can't actually remember if she was any different then! Perhaps I have some videos as I usually take them for records sake. I'll look back what date this was.

Definitely won't be getting back on her until I am absolutely certain she is okay to do it, just gentle in hand walks for now with the occasional free school for 2 minutes to film how she looks.

I can see what the Bowen lady means, she does hold in her whole body when she moves, her stomach doesn't move, there is no swing.

I am open to trying everything for her but I am not getting my hopes up to ride her again.

 

[Dexter]

Yes, completely agree.

I mean, it does make sense in some ways, when she spook spins, it is ALWAYS to the left no matter where the scary object is and I understand that the cecum is on the right hand side so right hind lameness can be caused by hind gut issues. She has been on and off with right hind lameness for a while but only 1/10th. When backing up, she naturally bends to the left as well rather than going in a straight line, when she naps and spins to the left, I can only circle her to the left to get back round, if I try to pull her back right, she will back up or rear. So all of that would still be a sign of an internal issue like this but she has been on Coopers Gut Support for months in the past, Science Supplements Gut Support before and the vets probiotics recently so I'd have thought all of this would have helped. She also does eat one of the other mare's poos too but after all the gut supplements, nothing really seemed to improve this.

All of that apart from the poo eating is also signs of a lame horse which is far more likely. Horses have a stronger side the same way people do, and its generally the left due to the way we handle them. The issue with lack of swing is also almost certainly pain rather than some imagined microbiome issue.

 

[Ellietotz]

I've put my mare on the EquiBiome Prebiotic product while waiting for her full biome analysis to come back, and she has definitely improved .

She's also on Succeed supplement. She has hind gut acidosis as diagnosed in a process of elimination by my vet.

So I think I'm getting myself in a bit of a tiz with this lol, I understand probiotics are to put more good bacteria into the gut and prebiotics feeds existing good bacteria though prebiotics are apparently in pasture, hay etc. I'm torn between getting a supplement that has both pre and probiotics in, just getting Yeasacc which is a probiotic and relying on the hay cobs/grazing etc to provide prebiotics or I could get the EquiBiome Prebiotic and get Yeasacc separately with that!

 

[NR88]

Seaweed is NOT recommended for horses because it is high iron.

Linseed and Copra have ZERO chemicals in them. They are linseed and coconut meal.

I would not pay attention to the "advice" of the Bowen lady as she is ill informed.

Also thunderbrooks are a horrible company owned by horrible people. I have read many threads on here about people having the same bad experiences as I have had so it is not just my bad experience.

I have read this whole thread and then all of your older ones. I believe that your decision to retire your horse was the right one. This lady appears to have given you false hope and "permission" to ride again

Definitely won't be getting back on her until I am absolutely certain she is okay to do it

Please do not ever get back on having finally made the decision for the welfare of your horse.

I, personally, would also be looking for a new massage or therapy practitioner too.

 

[Ellietotz]

Seaweed is NOT recommended for horses because it is high iron.

Linseed and Copra have ZERO chemicals in them. They are linseed and coconut meal.

I would not pay attention to the "advice" of the Bowen lady as she is ill informed.

Also thunderbrooks are a horrible company owned by horrible people. I have read many threads on here about people having the same bad experiences as I have had so it is not just my bad experience.

I have read this whole thread and then all of your older ones. I believe that your decision to retire your horse was the right one. This lady appears to have given you false hope and "permission" to ride again Please do not ever get back on having finally made the decision for the welfare of your horse.

I, personally, would also be looking for a new massage or therapy practitioner too.

Thanks.

I'm not sure if you've seen my responses above but I have absolutely not changed my mind about retiring her or have a new sense of hope that she will be right again.

Simply just discussing.

 

[ycbm]

She said I need to get her off Copra, Linseed and Speedibeet as it is all chemically made rubbish

She named three of the least processed foods available as chemically made rubbish?. Please dump this lady from your list of advisors.
.

 

[NR88]

Thanks.

I'm not sure if you've seen my responses above but I have absolutely not changed my mind about retiring her or have a new sense of hope that she will be right again.

Simply just discussing.

Apologies my mistake. When you typed "I won't be getting back on her until [...]" I wrongly assumed that you had a plan ton get back on again.

 

[Tiddlypom]

Definitely won't be getting back on her until I am absolutely certain she is okay to do it, just gentle in hand walks for now with the occasional free school for 2 minutes to film how she looks.

But you just posted this, which sounds like you may try and ride her again?